Breathing as Anxiety Treatment

Treating anxiety can be as easy as breathing! Literally!  It is established that people who experience anxiety tend to be chest breathers. Breathing from the diaphragm can help bring fast anxiety relief. Unfortunately, it's not so easy to do when an anxiety attack is occurring. Proper breathing must be learned and practiced beforehand. I will share two exercises below.

In the first, the goal is to be able to reduce breathing frequency to 6 breaths per minute. The end goal is to learn to breathe from the diaphragm at all times. An easy way to learn to breath from the diaphragm is to get on all fours (hands and knees) so that the chest is in a fixed position. This makes chest breathing more difficult and practically forces diaphragm breathing. Practice this breathing technique in different positions - sitting in a chair, standing, walking - until it becomes natural. Next time you feel the symptoms of anxiety coming on (quick shallow breathing, increased heart rate, shaking hands, etc), make sure you breathe deeply from the diaphragm for fast anxiety relief.

Measured breathing is another effective means of controlling anxiety symptoms. Soften your posture and try to relax a bit. Let your jaw relax and hang open while dropping your shoulders. Slowly breathe in to the count of four, being careful not to breathe from your chest. Hold the breath for a moment and slowly breathe out to the count of seven. Repeat this process for a few minutes.

Sit for a moment and take a few deep, mindful breaths. Doesn't it feel amazing? I can't believe what a gift it feels like when I really focus on bringing in air to nourish my body. When you feel anxiety symptoms at their onset, becoming aware of the breath is a means of controlling the anxiety and staying in charge of your body's response. I urge you to give it a try!

As a psychotherapist specializing in anxiety, I know how crippling these symptoms can be. If you need more help with controlling anxiety symptoms please call me at 770-789-0847 or visit our website at www.growhealchange.com. My personal website contains information on treatment for anxiety too! Www.carolyntuckertherapist.com

Dreams Die From a Fear of Failing

You know those dreams that you carry around for years? The "wouldn't it be nice if..." ones that you like to imagine happening, but aren't totally sure if you'd ever really do or not. Yeah, me too.

At the beginning of 2012, I set a personal goal for myself to run a half-marathon. I have a milestone birthday coming up next year, and thought it would be a good time to make what has long been a far-off dream into an actual goal. I had started running in college, and had worked up to some distance running, but mostly since then ran a few miles here and there to stay in shape and nothing more. I wanted to do something more, though, and had carried around the dream of someday running a half-marathon. And then, of course, proudly sporting one of those 13.1 stickers on the back of my car.

But there was one problem: I didn't know if I would really follow through on it or not. Even at the beginning of the year, in the hype of the new years resolutions, I kept this personal dream to myself, afraid to tell people and then not end up doing it. So I waited. And waited. I ran my usual 3 or 4 miles, and that was it. 

I don't know what it was exactly that caused the shift in me, but there was a shift one day. I began to realize that if I never took the energy to turn my dream into an actual goal, I would not ever complete it. As a psychotherapist myself, I knew how to help others in similar situations, so I began asking myself some of the questions I might ask a client. Things like, "What Am I really afraid of? What is holding me back?" After pinpointing a fear of failing, and being afraid of what others would think if I didn't follow through, I had an epiphany. If I didn't try, I'd still be failing. The fact that this was my dream and I wanted to do it for me had to be enough motivation to get me started. And I had to start telling people. That's the funny thing about fear. When we have it in moderate amounts, it can actually be a good motivator.

So now I am 5 weeks in to my official 12 week training program. I have been running 4 days a week, and have already run further distances then I've ever run. I figured the next step of being fully committed to the process includes posting my intentions on the Internet (hence this blog post). But I'm not worried about not completing it at this point. I'm resolved in myself and I've effectively turned my pipe dream into an attainable goal. Now I just have to buy the sticker...

What would you do if you weren't afraid of failing?

How Mindfulness Can Help Anxiety

Anxiety is pervasive in our world today. From the poor economic climate, to traffic, to tragedy in the news, our culture contributes as well. Our modern society is busting at the seams with stimuli that trigger symptoms of anxiety in our bodies and minds.

Have you noticed that you can go about your day with a sense of anxiety that flares up on an incremental basis? Even as our minds get busy, the physical sensations of anxiety such as muscle tension, tightness in the chest or stomach, fluttering heartbeat are still present. Every few moments our minds do a "check in" to be sure that all systems are functioning properly. When the mind locates the symptoms of anxiety it sends off a "code red" and all of the symptoms feel exacerbated.

The practice of mindfulness can help with this. Mindfulness is defined as a state of active, open attention on the present. When you're mindful, you exist solely in the moment, noticing what is going on right then to the fullest. The practice of acceptance goes along with mindfulness. In acceptance you observe your thoughts and feelings from a distance, without judging them good or bad. Acceptance is the act of acknowledging the existence of the feeling or sensation without "defining" yourself by it. Instead of saying "I am anxious," notice the physical sensation and acknowledge that it is there. If you have an unpleasant fluttery knot in your stomach, say "there is anxiety" and gently move your awareness back to what you are doing in the moment.

When we resist emotions or physical sensations they rear their ugly heads and demand to be noticed. The sheer energy of them increases due to our increase in attempt to squash them down. Our bodies were made to allow all energy, negative and positive to move through them and to be expressed in some way, whether spoken through communication, burned off through exercise or relaxed away. Acceptance allows our bodies to naturally self correct and allow that energy to pass through us without resistance.

Mindfulness causes you to be fully present. You really focus on your work, you really engage in conversation, you really indulge in the sensations of the cool breeze, warm sun, etc. that are going on around you. Mindfulness is proven to increase our quality of life by improving our physical health (reducing blood pressure and increasing quality of sleep to name a few benefits) and our mental health (decreased rumination, increased ability to handle daily stress) and out relationships (One study showed that people who practice mindfulness deal with relationship stress more constructively. Another study found that those who employ mindfulness have a lower stress response during conflict, while the state of mindfulness was associated with better communication during conflicts.) 

Mindfulness is most frequently associated with a practice of meditation. Even five minutes of meditation daily has been proven to show benefit. You can practice mindfulness in many other ways too. Some of my clients report washing the dishes as being meditative for them, or gardening, or listening to music. Any activity where you can be fully in the moment contributes to your ability to quiet that voice in the mind that causes anxiety.

By being mindful you are not denying your feelings, nor ignoring them. You are integrating them into your "whole self" and allowing your mind to get out of the way so that your body can naturally heal itself.

As a psychotherapist, I help clients daily learn skills to help them better cope with the effects of anxiety on their mind and bodies.  My practice, TRU Integrative Health and Wellness is filled with a team of integrative clinicians to assist in the treatment of anxiety, in addition to the psychotherapy I offer. From massage and yoga to chiropractic care, targeted clinical nutrition and acupuncture, our clinicians can help you increase your quality of life. Please see www.growhealchange.com for more information

Think Like a Therapist: Anxiety

Think Like a Therapist© is your lay source for becoming your own psychotherapist.  Think Like a Therapist© helps you learn about yourself and others as if you were actually in counseling—minus the time and expense. Your session begins now!  Think Like a Therapist© is not a substitute or service for the treatment of any mental health problems.  Please see a clinical mental health professional to address your mental health symptoms and illnesses. Copyright © 2012 Charles O’Connor. All Rights Reserved.

Think Like a Therapist©: Anxiety

So you tell me you’re anxious.  You may know it by the knot in your stomach, the tightness in your chest, the embarrassing sweat rings, or the culprit that keeps your mind racing.  These physiological symptoms, if bad enough, usually warrant a quick visit to your primary care physician and may result in a diagnosis of anxiety accompanied with pharmacological treatment.  There is little to no discussion of alternative interventions.  You cross your fingers and hope that the anti-depressant or anxiolytic medication works, and it may, but what if it doesn’t?  What if you prefer to remain drug-free?  Let’s say you chose to work with me instead, a Licensed Professional Counselor (LPC).  How might I understand and treat your anxiety?  Let’s begin.

You Don’t Have to Be Your Emotions

I would first normalize your condition.  After all everyone experiences anxiety; it is a universal response to our individual fears.  You are not alone in your struggles.  You, however, are seeking personal growth to take charge of your anxiety.  You desire to understand the causes and I very much want to help.  You are not just another client; rather, you are a unique individual with a unique life.  For this reason, it is an honor to work with you.

An exploration of the etiology or source of your symptoms might result in an awareness of disavowed feelings, common of which are guilt and shame.  Guilt has to do with regret over personal behavior, seeing yourself at fault.  But are you?  Is your guilt justified?  Are you responsible?  If yes, feelings of guilt can help you right the wrong, allowing you to free yourself from the accompanying anxiety.  Consider this alternative instead: Maybe you are unknowingly accepting the blame for someone else’s offense.  Could I shove you and you would apologize?  If this resonates, then you may be struggling with shame or the lie that you, as a person, are fundamentally bad and therefore unlovable.  Feelings of remorse, inadequacy, loneliness, and rejection are tied to anxiety because of the underlying fear of not being good enough. 

What if you could make amends for your mistakes and invite reconciliation with those you’ve hurt?  What if you could learn to forgive yourself and, even better, love yourself?  What if you could free yourself from the hurt caused by someone else’s transgression?  What if, for once, you are not so quick to forgive?  The good news is that you get to decide.  And since you have chosen to face your anxiety, you can gain something that a pill can never provide: An understanding of how your fears keep you believing that you are someone you are not.

You Don’t Have to Be Your Behavior

A common behavioral response to anxiety is an overwhelming need to dominate oneself or others.  When you attempt to control yourself in a rigid and unforgiving way, compulsions result and represent futile attempts to offset underlying fears.  Common compulsions include excessive or uncontrollable:  eating, cleaning, organizing, video-gaming, exercising, masturbation, sex, drinking, and gambling, among others.  When the opposite occurs, you seek to dominate others through aggressive behavior such as bossing, criticizing, blaming, threatening, and forcing, all of which can escalate into emotional, physical, and sexual abuse.  On the other hand, you may disengage and seek safety by taking little to no authority over your life, leaving yourself susceptible to being manipulated and used.  Those frozen by anxiety wait to be told who and what they are.  Where do you fall?  Are you fair and balanced in how you treat yourself and others?

You Don’t Have to Be Who You Think You Are

If you live a life dominated by fear you might view yourself too highly or too lowly.  Feelings of pride and worthlessness, like domination and submission, are ineffective ways to regulate anxiety.  An accurate self-assessment of your strengths and weaknesses is a helpful way to embrace your positive characteristics while accepting the aspects of yourself that you would like to change.  You don’t have to be perfect; you don’t have to be a failure.  All you need to do is see yourself for who you truly are in the context of who you are becoming or would like to become. 

To conclude, ask yourself, “What are my fears?”—The ones that lead to worrying, doubting, questioning, criticizing, blaming, defending, controlling, obsessing, withdrawing, acting out or maybe not acting at all.  Do you trust in your ability to bring about what you fear the most in you life?  Or do you believe in your ability to recognize, face, and overcome your fears?  Because, after all, a powerful antidote to anxiety is the truth you claim for yourself and your life.    

Barefoot For Anxiety Treatment

On a recent trip to the beach I was reminded again why I am such an advocate for the practice of earthing. Earthing is the act of coming into contact with the earth without wearing shoes in order to release negative energy. With the advent of rubber or plastic soled shoes many of us have lost the benefit of being "grounded."  Within a half an hour of being barefoot on the shore I felt like a new person. There are studies that report the neuromodulative health benefits of earthing, from positive effects on blood viscosity and oxygenation to lowering of cortisol levels. In our world of stress and anxiety, we have lost touch with many practices that could help our bodies organically self correct, and I believe earthing is one of those.  When a client comes into my practice complaining of symptoms of anxiety, I take a thorough history, paying special attention to what that client does to "recharge their batteries." One of the first recommendations I make is to get out in the sunlight for twenty minutes a day (for the benefits of vitamin D and the effects on neurotransmitters and hormones such as melatonin). This practice alone can cause wonderful benefits on mood regulation and sleep. The addition of being barefoot during this process seems to really augment the benefits for anxiety. I direct them to visualize the anxious feelings being absorbed by the earth and dissipating from their bodies. I have had clients report a dramatic reduction in anxiety just from this simple intervention.  Anxiety can be seen as anxious energy flowing through our bodies, and it is insidious in its effects on our health, our relationships, our productivity and our spirits. The long term effects of unaddressed anxiety can be debilitating. Anxiety is considered a problem when symptoms interfere with a person's ability to sleep or otherwise function. Men and women can manifest the symptoms differently. Teenagers are particularly susceptible to symptoms of irritability produced by anxiety. Physical symptoms are usually related to the heart, lungs, nervous and gastrointestinal systems. Left untreated anxiety can take its toll on our bodies, and our quality of life. In our rat race culture we must take the time to care for our bodies, our minds and our spirits if we are to experience life in a meaningful manner. Running on empty trying to function is no way to live. If we want to have the levels of productivity that our lifestyles demand we must invest time in maintaining our mental and physical health. If you are unable to address your anxiety symptoms alone, there is nothing wrong with reaching out for help. Consider it an investment in obtaining the level of functionality you desire. More than that, consider that you function in this busy lifestyle in an attempt to create a rich life in which you can thrive. If you are not thriving, something is not working. Please take steps today to achieve a life that works. Everything that you do depends on it!

What am I going to do?

What are you afraid of? What is causing you to feel anxious and stressed? Many times when I ask clients what is causing them to feel anxious they are unable to identify the source of the feeling. I have heard it described as a rushing feeling of "what am I going to do?" but when asked "about what?" they can't pinpoint anything that is wrong. This is called generalized anxiety.

In my observation, there are a few things that seem to occur along with generalized anxiety. Being very busy seems to accompany it on many occasions. I have found that busy people can lose touch with a few basic needs. I believe that if we stop and examine these few things we can begin to calm the anxiety that seems pervasive in our society.

When focused on everything that "needs to be done", and over-extending ourselves, it is easy for us to forget to breathe. Really? Too busy to breathe? Absolutely! Take a slow, deep breath. Really focus on drawing oxygen deep into your lungs. Feel the gift of the nourishment it brings to your body. When is the last time you really noticed how wonderful it feels to really BREATHE? A few sessions a day of being really present with the breath can make a world of difference in how you feel.

Another thing that I notice is that people who report generalized anxiety don't seem to be able to identify the things they do that nurture their spirit. They lose sight of what brings them joy. Is it taking a bubble bath and lighting a candle? A walk in the woods? A few minutes spent playing with a pet? Pinpointing and actually doing these things can cause anxiety levels to lower naturally.

The last thing that I see in people with generalized anxiety is a burdensome sense of responsibility. I am not suggesting that you abandon your obligations, however when I sit down with clients to distinguish the "musts" from the "shoulds" it is very enlightening. People with generalized anxiety seem to have a sense of having to take care of everyone and everything. I propose that there are things that you have to do and things that you may chose to do. Just because you can do something doesn't mean that it is always in your best interest to do it. Mindfully choosing things to commit to above and beyond your obligations is a way to significantly reduce your overall anxiety level. 

Anxiety does not have to rule your life. Begin examining how you are living to see if there are things you are doing or not doing that are contributing to your uncomfortable feelings. Take back your power by implementing a few simple steps that can increase your quality of life immediately!

A State of Disconnection

Last weekend, Rob and I escaped for our "babymoon" to Seagrove Beach, Florida. We've found the perfect little cottage down there for relaxing, recharging, reconnecting, and rejuvenating our spirits and our relationship.

In the midst of turquoise waters, whitewashed sands, and friendly townspeople, I was struck by a sad realization.

On Friday night, we chose one of the local restaurants there for dinner. We were escorted to our table on a rooftop deck overlooking the Gulf of Mexico. With the wind blowing through our hair, we smiled at each other just to be in that wonderful place together at that moment. As we settled in, I surveyed the scene of people around us. Close to our right was a middle aged pair with sour expressions on their faces. The man gazed off into space while the woman. . . wait for it. . . checked her Facebook feed on her phone! Yes, you read that right. I quickly made the assumption that they either must have been fighting, or were perhaps on a first date, the kind set up over the internet that just wasn't going as well in person as either party had hoped. That is, until the woman looked up from her phone to inquire about the contents of my growing belly (quite the cornerstone of conversations these days), and when we were due. She went on to explain that she and her husband there had 4 children together and were down on vacation for a week with the whole family. We were meeting them on their "date night," their chance to get away from the kids while her mother watched them. She seemed much more eager to talk to me than to her husband, and it took a couple of tries to pry away from her and back to my own "date night." 

On our left was a young laughing couple enjoying a couple of beers together. My smile returned, as did my faith in romance and the human ability to appreciate the beauty of a night on the beach until she too brought out her phone. At first the girl tried taking pictures of her beau, which was somewhat endearing to me, and as I could tell, to him as well. As the evening progressed, however, I watched her spend more and more time with the phone, and less and less with her boyfriend; soon his expression matched that of the middle aged man to my right. Again, in voyeuristic fashion, I speculated. Having clearly observed the lack of wedding bands on this young couple's hands, I secretly hoped that the boyfriend would run for the hills, or at least stand up and walk away from the table in response to his date's preoccupation. It couldn't be a good sign in the early stages of a relationship that whatever was on the girl's screen was more interesting to her than him sitting there in front of her. 

Now, I have to admit, I have my phone with me most of the time while I am in Atlanta. And, as part of a bustling city, I don't think much of it that most people around me do the same. Personally, being that I practice psychotherapy, and am the owner of a business,  I want to be available both  for my clients in case of emergency, as well as for potential new business inquiries. I also want to be available for my husband. But sitting on a rooftop overlooking the GULF OF MEXICO with the love of my life. . . I had absolutely no need or interest in my telephone or in anything Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, or Foursquare had to offer.

As the weekend progressed, Rob and I noticed this same phenomenon over and over- people drawn away from the present moment and from the living, breathing people right in front of them and the events unfolding where they stood- by the trap of technology. I witnessed adults look more like robots, or awkward teenagers with their faces buried in their Nintendos, that like real people living real lives.

So how long has this disconnection from reality and from each other been present? Is it that I have been so disconnected from my surroundings, myself, that I just haven't noticed this before? Or was it the sharp contrast of the technology against the backdrop of natural perfection and promise of human connection that brought this sad reality to my attention? By the end of the weekend, I wanted to walk up to people, rip their phones out of their hands and tell them to "look around! See what's going on in the world that's right there in front of them!" I wanted to shout at people to stop the madness and plead with them not to let their relationships numb out and glaze over like they were doing in front of their screens! As I type, I recognize how wonderful technology can be. But doesn't it have it's place? And shouldn't that place be limited? Shouldn't we create some internal boundaries for ourselves in order to live more mindful and connected lives, and not let time and experience pass us by while we're tweeting about it?

I could go on and on, but I have probably written too much for a blog post already. Clearly I am passionate about this issue and it's overall effect on our health and wellness- mentally, emotionally, physically, and relationally. Are you?

Logging off,
Katie